For my MFA we were asked to write an auto-ethnography. A piece of writing that situates oneself within the context of our area of interest. I have been talking a lot of how the BODY REMEMBERS and using that idea I explored more of my own personal stories and how they are apart of me. I wrote about memories that I had from the time I was 4yrs old until I was about 15. Some are sweet nostalgic stories and others verge on troubling and uncomfortable. As I wrote them, I relived them. This writing was very hard on my physically. It cause my heart rate to increase, I got anxious and sweaty. I would have to go for walks to release energy and process the emotions that were arising. It became clear that I needed to get the stories off of the page and into the world. In a way the stories have become alive to me. Each one is a few paragraphs long, ending with a food pairing. In almost all of them I had a visceral food memory and at times I could taste and smell the food I was describing even if I hadn’t eaten it in years.
I started off with a fond memory, that brings a little sadness to me, as my father passed away several years ago. After all the writing I was a bit worn out and I needed a simple entry point. I created it on a massive loom that I built using a furniture pallet, nails, hammer and a saw- it was so big at first it did not fit into my studio. The pink and blue fabrics are ones that my father bought me. We share the same maker gene so whenever he saw fabrics for sale in his local thrift store he would buy them. I’ve been holding on to them for years. The flannel I bought at a thrift store local to me and is similar to something he would have worn, being a heavy duty mechanic and a constant tinkerer. I have written the story of the crab onto the fibres that I have woven and created into the tapestry. I used my whole body to make this, the loom stands as tall as me. I would get up and down off the ground, walk and weave back and forth. I sweated, had body aches, headaches and gave myself blisters!
As I continue with my MFA, I really want to incorporate this process- writing, researching, building, weaving, sewing etc into my thesis. I see it evolving and growing.