As my Graduate studies intensified most of my work was done in my home and most commonly on my kitchen floor as it reflected my thesis research about domestic labour, identity, and practice of art making. Can one be a wife, mother and artist? I never really answered that in my thesis and it is a subject that I am still exploring, especially now, because; What now?
If I can no longer use the excuse I am student, ie. not paying tuition, for my eccentric tendencies such as using a household broom or toilet brush to paint. Then who am I as an artist? Do I go back to being mother, and wife first and fit in art making when I can? Or do I continue researching and exploring how one can embrace the these dualities? I know what I want to do, but saying it out loud, even the act of putting it into words on a blog that few will read brings to the surface anxiety, fear, guilt and selfishness.
I worked so hard to get this degree, to go back to how it was before, will break my heart.
What Can I DO?
Keep making art.
Keep learning.
Keep practicing.
Fail upwards.
Start using my voice and saying what I need.
Megan Carroll Shut Your Mouth 2020,
Embroidery Thread, Collage, on Paper
8.5” x 11”